letting you look.

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I am hoping this spurs me on to something really big…really HUGE.  Like a spotless closet, completed laundry, sparkling countertops, shining porcelain toilet bowls.  Actually, with what I have going on today, I am praying for just ONE of those.
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I have been really stubborn with switching over my Spring/Summer clothes to the Fall/Winter crate.  Not that I don’t want to…believe me, I LOVE fall.  I love the cooler weather and sweatshirts and the chance to cover up varicose veins completely.  But much like the seasons of my life, I try to hold on to what is behind.  Not fully giving way to what is ahead.  And where does that leave me?  Living in a place where I am not in full appreciation of where I’m at.  I don’t like it.  It is time to move on.

I have seen this in so many areas of my life.  The last two years as we have prayed and wrestled with leaving our home church—and home is definitely what we would call it.  Our church family—and family is definitely what we would call it—-well, it has been hard.  Perhaps one of the hardest decisions we have made together as a family.  I was just texting a dear friend today and the words came out that I have never felt so affirmed in the decision to worship in the place we have decided to worship.  In keeping things completely honest here, as affirming as it is, it is so overwhelmingly heartwrenching when I have precious kids of mine in tears, fighting us all the way—not wanting to engage in Sunday school, or activities, etc.  Heartwrenching.  Almost an anguish and joy experience for Steve and I.  Yet, at the same time, what is ahead of them is so good.  An opportunity not every person receives in their church life.  A chance to build something new and learn to be a leader in a ministry of reaching new people.  It’s exciting.  It’s scary.  It probably won’t be appreciated by them until much later in life. 

I also see this season of changing when it comes to sports.  As I wrote about previously, it has been such a wonderful blessing to have Nat and Kass playing on the same volleyball team.  And anguish and joyhave been seen here as well.  Last night was their last home game and they won after 3 grueling games.  I don’t want to forget some of the conversations we have had this week between all of us regarding volleyball.  Such life lessons to be learned through these things, and really it is awesome.  Learning to work together and play together when you are sisters?  Can you say anguish and joy?  I have to tell you that my sweet Kassidy was given a challenge.  A challenge playing on her sister’s team, being a year younger, having much less experience.  She was in a situation where her sister really could make or break her first junior high volleyball experience.  Now, I know this is so minor in the whole realm of life, but I do believe God works through these things too.  This is BIG time for junior high kids.  Winning and losing, your place on the team, your attitude, your skills in question.  All of it.  Sounds menial to us as adults when the really BIG picture of life comes to hold.  But this is where it starts.  And I have to know and own what a BIG deal it is for each of them.  As we drove home last night we realized with excitement that they have had a winning season!  And that their chances for being successful at their upcoming League Tournament were just as good as anyone else’s.  And then I asked them about how many times they have touched a basketball in the last few weeks.  It’s not basketball season.  And let me tell you, as much as they love basketball–their focus is on the here and now.  This season.  Isn’t there such a lesson for us to be learned through that?  (a lesson for me, especially)
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So today, as I attempt at my wish list and hopefully accomplish the goal of NO CLEANING on Saturday, I AM going to say goodbye to that previous season that is lurking in my closet and welcome the new.  I know Steve is hoping for a new look when he sees our closet the next time, and if I actually get it done?  I’ll let you look.

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