live in this moment.

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We are MORE than fortunate for Steve’s job. There is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful. Sometimes his job takes him away. But it is very few and far between. So infrequent that I hate to ever bring it up, complain, or otherwise.

That being said, we don’t do well at our house without him home.

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A heartbreaking moment yesterday as we dropped Steve off at the airport. Landon just broke down crying. Actually, somewhat in characteristic of him. Oh my goodness, it was all I could do to sweep him up in my arms and hold my little 9 year old. Ugh.

As we finished up our day, he just wanted to cling to my side. Begged to sleep in my bed, and climbed up in a chair with me. That hasn’t happened for a long time.

I was talking with my friend about the day and the emotional toll it took on Landon. And what she said was profound, yet obvious…

This may never happen again. Landon may never crawl up in my lap, lay his head on my shoulder, and want comfort from me in this way. This may be the last time he begs to sleep as close as he can to me and snuggle talking to me about missing his Dad. This may be the last time he clings to me needing a hug from his Mom.

Remembering the lasts. Oh man I hope this isn’t the last, yet. He still needs his mom when he misses his dad. He misses his dad and he needs his mom. Don’t let me forget. Ever, ever, ever. Some day Steve will travel and he won’t care. Some day I’ll give him a hug and it will be a half one armed hug to comfort and suffice me.

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